A Game, An Outfit, and Some Crack
by L.L. Grey
Summary: Lucifer, Michael, Sam, Dean, Castiel, Gabriel, Crowley, Zachariah, and Azazel play truth or dare at Bobby's house. Total crack, contains and mentions M/M relationships.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: A Game, An Outfit, and Some Crack**

**Pairings: A lot, mostly for crack purposes.**

**Rating: Probably more T, but M to be safe.**

**Warnings: Female-Free Zone=many mentions of M/M relationships, language, adult situations, OOCness, mentions of various kinks, large amounts of meaningless crack.**

**A/N: This is my first shared fan fic, so be gentle. There really is no plot, it's just some crack I wrote for my Creative Writing class, (this is the matured version, of course). By the way, I own nothing, (Except the non-existent plot). Enjoy!**

* * *

"Truth," Lucifer replied to Crowley, causing the group of a mixture of angels, demons, and humans to giggle uncontrollably. Except Castiel, who didn't understand the concept of the game much less what was so funny about stating one of the options.

Flames flashed in the fallen angel's eyes, "What!"

"The devil isn't dare devil enough to take a dare," Gabriel explained with his signature mocking grin.

"Go to Hell," Lucifer muttered at the _circle of imbeciles_, he thought.

"A majority of ussssss already have," Azazel chimed in, yellow eyes glowing in the poorly lit room.

Crowley finally came up with a question, "Do your hormones act up once a month, or are you always as emotionally unstable as a human teenager?"

Lucifer exploded to his feet, "That's not a truth question! I should smite you six ways to Sunday!"

Zachariah decided the conversation was now worthy of his joining, "We all know he still cries out for daddy in his sleep before he wets the bed."

"And how would you know?" Michael went defending his brother, flaming sword, or _words_, in hand, "And he's always like that. Try being in a cage with him." Dean chuckled and elbowed Castiel in the side with a cheeky grin.

"Oh, Michael," Lucifer said, torn between love that bordered on incest and hate that bordered on murder, "You know you love the Cage…and leather." The archangel didn't know whether to be pissed or join in on the foreplay. Luce love dirty talk.

Crowley overlooked what just took place and shrugged, "I can't think of anything else, and you can't smite to Sunday, that's the big guy upstairs' day."

"Just ask someone, Lucifer," Sam attempted to keep the game going without anyone getting hurt. Besides, he wanted to get around to his turn.

"Zachariah!" Lucifer called out enthusiastically in an "announcer-from-Hell" kind of voice.

Zachariah's eyebrows lifted.

"Dare or die?" Everyone gave the devil a weird look.

"Truth."

After a brief pause, Lucifer smiled and began to laugh evilly, "I was prepared for that. Is it true, (which I know it is), that one of your faces is that of a turtle?"

Now Zachariah stood up outraged, "You swore you wouldn't tell!" Everyone erupted in laughter again.

"I am Satan, lying is my forte. Besides, it's a natural sin for me to be vindictive. You should know that," he responded with a wink. Dean chuckled and elbowed Castiel, again.

"Quiet down, you idjits! Alastair and I are trying to play chess. Gotta practice for my big game with the man upstairs!" Bobby yelled from his kitchen at the group in his living room.

Alastair growled, "I'm going to gut your soul, old man!"

Bobby chunked an empty beer can at the demon. It bounced off his skull with a clunk.

"ANYWAYS!" Sam shouted over the commotion, willing everyone to get back to the game. At this rate, he would never get his turn. He had the _perfect_ dare for Gabriel.

"Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel," Zachariah said in that patronizing way of his.

"What is up with you saying stuff three times? Do you have impressive-convulsive disorder or something?" Dean cut in, getting annoyed by Zachariah's presence like usual.

Castiel coughed and Sam helped out his brother, "Obsessive-compulsive, Dean."

Everyone ignored each other, "Truth or dare?"

Gabriel flashed his teeth, "Dare."

Lucifer scoffed from his emo corner and mumbled something about spite. Meanwhile, Zachariah looked lost in thought. Sam saw and seized the opportunity. Leaning over, he began to whisper in Zachariah's ear.

Zachariah began to chortle in kiddish excitement, "That's brilliant!"

The archangel's eyebrows lifted.

Sam's eyes brightened. He hadn't been too sure Zachariah would take it well.

"Okay. So Gabriel, I dare you to dress in the traditional archangel attire for the next month. Bed sheet, wreath, horn, wings, and all."

There was a solid thirty seconds of complete silence in which demon looked at angel, angel looked at human, and human looked at demon.

"The sheet has to be wrapped below the torso," Sam piped up, cursing Zachariah for not being specific enough. Gabriel had to be bare-chested, it was a requirement. Dean chuckled and elbowed Castiel.

"Dean, could you please stop inserting your elbow into my side. I think I am developing a bruise. Besides, I don't understand what you are finding so humorous anyway."

Dean gave Castiel a smirk that can only be described as one that takes your innocence, "You know you love it when we mark each other." Castiel blinked.

"Seriously, he gets all hot and heavy every time I touch his shoulder," Sam gestured to Castiel's handprint.

Lucifer gave his brother a thumbs up, "Hey, we aren't the only ones." Michael looked confused as did the Winchesters.

To the general population's shock, Castiel understood what was going on, "Dean, I think Lucifer is insinuating that you and your brother are in an incestuous relationship as he and Michael are."

Michael's nostril's flared, "We are not in such a thing!"

"Neither are we!" The Winchester brothers said in unison.

The devil lit a randomly appearing cigarette, "Whatever you say, kiddos. You can't lie to the King of Lies."

"You've got to be kidding me," Gabriel finally spoke, getting back to the previous matter. When no one replied, he sighed, "I guess it could be worse. Like wetting the bed or having a turtle face." As he snapped his fingers, Lucifer and Zachariah scowled and felt less guilty than not feeling guilty at all for making Gabriel go through with the dare.

Instantly, all of Gabriel's clothes vanished, and were replaced (unfortunately too quickly for Sam to catch a peek,) with nothing but an off-white bed sheet slung loosely around his hips and an evergreen wreath nestled in his curly brown hair. In his hands was the legendary golden Gabriel's Horn, sparkling with heavenliness even in the weak lighting. What was most impressive, however, were the appearance of the archangel's wings. At least, to the humans anyway. Even Bobby stopped his intense game to stare.

There were four of them, presumably because of his rank, two arched upward, the other two, down. They were rather large in size, easily bigger than half his person. Trying to describe their color was a rather doomed effort. At one angle they appeared a violet blue like hydrangeas and night irises, another, a black darker than the deepest abyss of existence. Eventually, Sam gave up because he began to see a mixture of the two, drawing him in until he was lost in the feathers that weren't completely there, their edges fading into a fabric called Reality. When Gabriel stretched as if he hadn't let his wings spread in a millennia, divine essence poured off them like crystals in a waterfall.

Between the wings and Gabriel's exposed toned chest and torso, as deliciously pale and smooth it looked, Sam couldn't tear his eyes away. Gabriel snorted. The sound brought Sam back to earth, his in awe expression turned to that of someone deviously satisfied. Everyone else busted out in unrestrained laughter. Besides Castiel, whose eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration as he tried to figure out what was funny now.

The half naked archangel rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. At first, no one noticed a thing, too busy keeling over at the hilarity of it all. It wasn't until Dean, gasping for breath, ran his hand through his hair and settled his arm on the couch around Castiel realized he _had_ _no_ _hair_.

"What the fuck?"

It was Gabriel's turn to laugh, as he took in the six shiny bald heads, and six pairs of angry eyes flaming with hatred. (Poor Castiel was victim to the hair loss too, but he didn't really mind as much as everyone else. He wasn't one to care about looks.) The divine beings attempted to reverse the problem, but since Gabriel either outranked or was of equal rank to them all, their powers didn't work. The only one who could have maybe done it was Lucifer, but since being thrown in the cage, he hadn't been as powerful as he once was. Everyone was at the mercy of the runaway angel turned trickster, and they knew it.

Dean became desperate, Castiel might not want him anymore if he looked like a meaty naked mole rat, "GABRIEL! Give me my fucking hair back right now you son of a bitch, or so help me God I will send you to Purgatory myself."

"Adorned in nothing but a red bowtie," Sam added, irritated and turned on at the same time. He wondered if he was developing a bald kink which lead him to wonder what kinks Gabriel had. Gabriel sure liked candy…

Castiel turned to Dean, "Dean, your hair does not define you. I find you just as attractive as before."

Dean smiled, but before the two could share a quick sweet kiss, Gabriel interrupted, "Okay, girls, just one more thing," there was a sudden flash, sending everyone into temporary blindness, and when their vision cleared, their hair was back to normal.

Gabriel didn't give anyone any time to ask what happened. With another snap, a movie screen appeared on Bobby's wall and shot glasses full of an unknown liquor materialized in front of everyone, "Drinking game anyone?" He would e-mail the picture to everyone later.

"What'ssssss the rulesssss?" Azazel asked, taking the glass in hand with a wicked grin.

The screen began to glow. Abruptly, two figures popped up on the screen. They looked a lot like-, "What the hell? Is that us?" Sam and Dean looked from each other to the screen and back.

Gabriel ignored them, "When the Winchesters say each other's names or close the car doors in sync, Cass says Dean's name, performance of eye-sex, mention of the words, 'sonovabitch', 'idjit', or 'balls', we drink."

"Oh-ho, darling. This should be splendid," Crowley winked at Gabriel after running his eyes over the half-naked angel with piercing lust. Gabriel returned his heated gaze with just as much fire, perhaps the outfit wasn't so bad after all.

Lucifer didn't miss the clear eye sex going on between the archangel and demon king, "Maybe we should start drinking now." Zachariah, Michael, and Azazel nodded in agreement. Sam sulked.

Castiel looked confused, "What is this 'eye-sex'?" Dean wasn't sure either.

"Let the drinking commence," of all people, Michael, stated.

_2 Alcohol Filled Hours Later…_

* * *

**A/N2: Oooo, cliffhanger-ish. I do plan on a sequel, with some man smexin', but I have no idea between which couple. ^-^**


	2. Round Two

**A/N: This is my first attempt at a semi-sex scene. I like doing the romance novel, not too detailed and emotionally charged kind of scene, I just hoped I executed that right. :) **

* * *

Moonlight glinted off the faded dark blue exterior, windows were boarded up like an abandoned home, the porch's faded worn wood that's seen a thousand lifetimes worth creaked as the empty chair rocked back and forth. The door was unlocked, the inhabitants more than confident they can handle whatever walks in.

The house reeked of alcohol, a tornado of empty bottles and unconscious persons littering the space. A projection screen that may have once been usable tied around one body with fake horns and a fake pitchfork like a cape. One bottle in particular behind the couch actively drained onto the scuffed wooden floor.

The eerie silence made it possible to hear shuffling going on above the ceiling. Upstairs, the door closed almost soundlessly as more movement was heard on the other side.

As the back of his knees hit the bed, Sam began to faintly wonder through his drunken haze how he ended up falling back unto the mattress with an equally drunk, (or so he hoped,) archangel's tongue in his mouth and hands on the zipper of his jeans.

Everyone was either passed out or almost there, spouting off random noises that once might have been thoughts. Sam who normally would be the only sober one, was right there with them, his disappointment at not getting the least bit attention from Gabriel all night that didn't include making fun of him driving him to drink to forget.

"Crowley. Crowley! Damn it, you crusty old demon. I thought Scots were suppose to be able to hold their drink," Gabriel's dangerously irritated voice came from the other side of the couch. Gabriel and Crowley had cozied up over the course of the night, ending up on the floor in front of the couch.

Sam, however, was behind said sofa taking deep drinks from one of the bottles of liquor Gabriel had conjured up. His position let him hear everything going on between the angel of his affections and the demon he despised, spurring his depression on more.

Gabriel pushed the unconscious King of Hell off of him offhandedly and stood on shaky legs with a huff of dissatisfaction. The wreath on his head itched and the robes were long and easily caught on things. Then again, it was nice to let his wings out even if all the humans couldn't keep their eyes off of them.

The runaway angel was briefly startled when he rounded the edge of the couch, discovering a very large and very miserable Sam just sitting there.

"What are you doing?"

Sam's head snapped up to the sound of his angel's voice, surprised, "Um...uh…I uh…," he grasped at words that were leaving him. What does one say when caught eavesdropping?

Sharp loud laughter filled the otherwise growing silent room. Sam's heart jumped as a warm half-naked body materialized next to him.

The humans wondered if they could peek into their thoughts sometimes, but really the answers were all over their faces. Gabriel hadn't missed the stares, the comments, whose idea the dare was to begin with, or the fact Sam was wasted on purpose while spying on him and Crowley together.

Gabriel leaned in and whispered in Sam's ear, "Where did our brothers go? I think they had the right idea. Don't you think?"

The owner of that now increasingly red ear sucked in a deep breath, eyes wide. A small strong hand appeared on the hunter's lower thigh, sliding painstakingly slowly upward.

"Is this what you wanted, Sam?" God, _that_ voice, so husky and low, caressed Sam in places Gabriel's hand wasn't. He let out a strangled groan as that hand finally reached its destination, rubbing Sam leisurely through his jeans.

Plump pink lips parted, lusty half-lidded gaze, body writhing for more friction, the runaway angel couldn't help himself as the sight drove him to rub harder and plant his mouth firmly on Sam's. Swallowing his sighs of pleasure, the angel chose that moment to deepen the kiss with his tongue, leaving no time for the moose to process all the stimulation.

Nonetheless, it was enough encouragement for Sam's aroused body to reciprocate, battling Gabriel's slick mischievous tongue for dominance while hiking up his robes and pulling him into his lap, discarding the bottle he had been squeezing for dear life thoughtlessly.

Gabriel moaned at the manhandling and the feel of Sam hard beneath him, giving himself a pat on the back for never wearing underwear, even in classic angel robes. They began to rock in unison, only pausing when the fingers tangled in his hair removed the troublesome wreath.

"You're still wearing this?" the hunter asked with a laugh.

The archangel was not going to be having any of that however, and hastily grabbed the wretched thing and tossed it across the room. "Shut up and move, Gigantor," he rasped, turning Sam's head back to his with a firm finger while going in for another kiss.

The dance went on, the gentle roll of hips setting into an easy rhythm against one another, sharpened by little noises of ecstasy emanating from both men. Hands roamed, no longer contented with just being woven into each other's hair. Mouths worked in an electrifying duo only the performers could understand, breathing never an option.

Hours seemed to pass in what was only tens of minutes. Gradually increasing intensity weighed on the two, Sam in particular whose jeans had become agonizingly tight long ago. Not to mention the fact they were on the ground, in Bobby's living room, _humping_ each other!

"G-gabe," Sam broke the make out session, pushing the archangel back a bit with large hands that engulfed Gabriel's slight shoulders, "Someone might walk in or wake up or something."

Gabriel's brows furrowed discontented. Did Sam not know how to have spontaneous drunk sex?

"Come on, hurry up," he huffed, pulling Sam up with him as he stood. Both of them swayed haphazardly on the way to the stairs, the thought of using his powers to teleport them to the bedroom delayed due to intoxication.

At the attempt at the first step, a group effort for sure, the late message reached Gabriel's brain and he snapped his fingers instantly.

Sam didn't frequent Bobby's spare bedrooms upstairs as much as his body wished, usually passing out on the sofa or floor mid-research, but he was forever grateful for their presence as he appeared in one with the object of his affections.

As the door closed slowly, his stomach got butterflies. At the sound of the lock sliding home, a delicious shiver of anticipation at what bliss was to come ran down his spine. Now that he had a moment to think, he became nervous.

When Gabriel turned from the door he seemed unhurried now, approaching with sluggish steps and taking his time feeling Sam's body up with his heated stare before finally making eye contact. The taste of each other was fresh on their tongues and the heady fragrance of their arousal invaded the rapidly warming air.

The intensity was almost too much for a wasted, sexually frustrated, emotional Sam, causing him to stumble back with every deliberate step in his direction. Fortunately, the convenient bed was there to catch him when he'd went too far. Then, angel was on hunter like lightening and they resumed where they left off, but at a much faster pace.

Clothes were shed despite being able to dematerialize them with a snap, (the trickster preferred the long way sometimes), fervent kisses placed on every newly revealed patch of skin. They exhaled in harmony, the relief of finally being out of the restraints of close-fitting clothing especially pleasing to Sam.

Lust taking over once again, Sam rolled them over, Gabriel not protesting as long as mouths were moving. Neither noticed when the all the furniture wobbled violently as Sam dipped between Gabriel's legs, bringing the archangel closer to heaven on earth.

"S-sam, get up here already!" his voice shook as he tried to sound as authoritative and arrogant as an archangel should sound. Taking in the desire clouded eyes, slightly swollen red lips open in a silent groan, cheeks flushed, hands twisted into Sam's long feathery locks only served to make Sam chuckle. He was thrilled at the thought that he, a hunter, a mere _human_, could bring this archangel of _heaven_ to such a state.

"Who am I to deny such a command?"

Moans reverberated in the small room as Sam filled him, a sigh of _finally_ echoing through body and mind. Before long they picked up a swift cadence, fingernails sinking into flesh screaming, _faster, harder, closer_. Prayers in the form of the archangel's name were whispered while celestial being and human melded, while two essences became one.

The end came upon them simultaneously and every bit as mind-blowing as Sam's wildest dreams could have imagined. Their cries mingled into a duet of ecstasy, not even the slightest bit aware of the windows shattering and furniture shaking brutally.

As the white began to clear from his vision, Sam collapsed on top of Gabriel, immediately rolling over with the trickster in his arms. Gasping and shuddering they rode the waves out together.

Several minutes later, a recently invigorated Gabriel rolled out of bed searching for his clothes. Naturally, he noted all the tipped over furniture and broken windows with a shrug, "Oops."

Sam wasn't far behind in realizing what happened, "Oh my. Bobby will be pissed." The angel smiled a roguish grin in reply. "But I must say that was the most passionate…," the hunter yawned and pulled the sheets over himself, "…drunken sex I've ever had."

Gabriel realized he kept making himself do too much work and snapped all his clothes back on, "Oh, I'm not really drunk anymore Sammy boy, when I flew us up here I used my powers to get rid of all the alcohol in my system."

Luckily and unluckily for all parties involved, a thunderous snore resounded from what had to have been the biggest moose Gabriel had ever seen. With a wicked gleam in his caramel eyes and the snap of his long slender fingers the trickster was gone.


End file.
